Wednesday, September 30, 2009

lame horse.

i missed deer tick. i stole this photo for another blog. i pirated their cd.

we all know what we do with a lame horse.

we take her out back and shoot her.

a post called horse.

fashion advice.

the hipsters have taken over vancouver. or at least, the trendy east side.

shortly after i arrived here, and registered this horror, i posted a series of pictures on my facebook:

it wasn't long before i started getting comments like, "what a great look for you!" and "those glasses are SWEET!"

way to miss the point completely. but i chalked it up to yet another failed joke, or at least one that only i could enjoy.

i know nothing about fashion. seriously.

the only thing i can figure is that if you start dressing like waldo here:

people will think you look "cool."

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


while this 25th anniversary edition makes it look like a yet another retarded disney sequel:

the last unicorn (1982) is actually not really a kid's movie.

i remember watching this as a kid. i loved it like mary poppins, but i always knew it was different.
dark, very dark.
i just re-watched this with my sexy boyfriend. he was skeptical, at best.
but with an all-star cast that includes the voices of rosemary herself (mia farrow) and jeff bridges, and a soundtrack by AMERICA, how can you go wrong?

this movie still kicks ass.  maybe more now because of how unconventional it is.
the prince and "princess" DON'T live happily. at least, not together.
unless that beastiality scene was cut...

no, it isn't a kid's movie. at least, not by today's standards.
i counted 2 full-out tit shots.
then there is the violence. 
this is scary stuff! the constant threat of the bull from hell.
the talking wino skeleton.
and that old hag devoured by the half-naked harpy.

if i had a kid i would totally let her watch it.

faking it.

long story short: i saw a pair like this downtown.
they didn't seem very serious.

i think shock-value went out with manson.

one time i was at an S&M club in california and i met a real live dom and slave pair.
she didn't have a leash but she did have a collar.
also, she didn't say much and she always stayed one step behind him.

he was a high-profile lawyer by day and looked like keanu.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

not hot.

"hi, my namz desiree. i am a 20something looking 2 meet someone i can really talk to about stuff. i like big muscles and shooters. msg me if u want 2 hook up!!@"
does everyone remember
well, it still exists.
you can rate people based on their "hotness" and it looks like you can even meet them if you REALLY want to have some fun!

do these people seriously think they are "hot"?
if so, why do they feel compelled to seek validation from anonymous interweb users?
some of these girls are actually pretty (or at least, they have the camera angles right... maybe the photoshop too).  so whats the deal?
and as for the other not-so-photogenic types... are they so masochistic that they actually require those 2.5 ratings in print? for what purpose?

the site boasts 25,987,000 PHOTOS! and over 12 billion people actually vote on this shit.

this means that "desiree" would get more votes than the president.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

catholic boy.

today i found out that jim carroll died .  he was a writer and fronted the aptly named 'jim carroll band.'  one time i found his tape in comix plus (local shop back home).
but really... 'basketball diaries' was a key movie of my teenhood.  up there with breakfast club, heathers and mermaids.  it all started in grade 8 when leo sank with the titanic and all the girls loved him.  ok, he was cute.  i dug him, but probably only because all my girlfriends did.  i had maybe 2 or 3 posters on my wall.  regardless, we used to have sleepovers and rent only leo movies.  needless to say, he became more an ACTOR, less a hottie.  basketball diaries is everything a good movie should be: full of drugs and death and sex.
it really glamorizes drugs.  it can't NOT.  when i was 14, i probably wanted to be a junkie.  even worse when i read the actual book.  and fuck is it even better than the flick.  seriously.  read it.  but it really makes you think.  and wonder whether this kind of material is healthy for an impressionable and angsty young lass.
i guess that the only reason i never became a junkie was because i couldn't afford the smack!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

they always marry their cousins.

'blue lagoon' (1980) is this movie about a shipwrecked boy and girl who grow up half-naked together on an island and have sex.  oops, i mean 'fall in love.'

i found the VHS tape at a local value village and had to take it home to re-watch.  i remember watching it as a young girl.  it was soooo romantic.  brooke shields is breathtakingly beautiful.  and what could be better than being stranded on an island paradise with a michelangelo's david lookalike?  i was total a shields fan when i was a young lass.  how can you NOT love a girl who is fondly recalled for playing a child prostitute when she was like, 11?

the movie, i am happy to say, is still enjoyable.  lots of nudity and headhunters too!

however, the familial relationship between the young nubile lovers is totally ambiguous.  'uncle arthur' is the boy's father, but also the girl's... uncle?  at least that is what she calls him.  of course he could be merely a 'family friend'  but i prefer to bank on the incestous v.c. andrews-ish plot.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

leon russell.

leon russell was the genius who wrote this song and produced it in 1970. since that day there have been endless covers by such greats as aretha franklin , the temptations and ray charles, along with more then a dozen others. but bizzy bone and dmx just shit/barked all over this beautiful love balled.

Friday, September 4, 2009

megan thinks she is marilyn.

megan sucks.

i highly doubt the vapid megan fox has 'read every book about marilyn.'

for that, you would have to actually be able to READ, dear.

yet again, she lumps herself in with other dimwitted simps like lindsay lohan and anna nicole.
way to go.  her and lohan should totally hangout: 'OMG matching tatts! lolz'

for anyone to compare themself to ms. monroe is moronic, at best.
how many times can we say it?

if she is so worried about her mental health, um, go see a shrink!

diagnosis?  maybe narcissistic personality disorder , which (nope!) isn't life threatening.
oh, that coupled with idiocy (nope, not a medical term either!).


le tigre vs. jem and the holograms.

i'm sorry but this brings out the TOTAL girlie girl in me.

and speaking of the holograms, i heard through the grapevine that jem is NOW available at HMV. probably for a pretty penny, no doubt. some gal in the void purchased hers through best buy for a better price...

i would die to have this. ok, not die.
some kind of minor disfigurement would do.
*please note: never 'google images' = disfigurement.
either that or always 'google images' = disfigurement.