Friday, August 6, 2010

guard THIS.

the product: lady speed stick "stainguard":

have you seen the commercial for stainguard?

it features a skinny bitch rooting through her closet for something to throw on.
suddenly, all these creepy white clothes are reaching for her like they're
back from the dead (and she is kristie swanson chewing gum and sitting on a fresh grave).

because she's wearing STAINGUARD!

lady speed stick claims that your whites won't be able to resist their new antipersperant becauuuuuuse
it won't leave those snotty yellow stains. the stains are not, in fact, the result of sweating. they come from an active ingredient in the antipersperant/deoderant itself.

well guess what?

stainguard doesn't work. at all.

proof: i bought the stick the same time as i bought a fresh white tanktop.
i've been wearing/using both for about a month.
and you bet i have yellow stains on my top.

unless this becomes the latest fashion trend, i won't gain any popularity points wearing that top.

lady speed stick gets a grade F,
and bad karma.

if this was street cents they'd be fit for the pit.
(and not the pitts.)